No way Jose
Nah duuude
Ohhh uh uh gurlfren
(you get the point)

Dude, is “why come” really a phrase?

First, I get many requests to donate my time to a worthy cause that I can no longer donate to them all, because if I did, I would be donating 24-7. Then Dhaya would soon become the worthy cause to whom I would then need to donate. Creating a mobius strip of free performing! (Whew!)

Second, I am a professional comedian/storyteller/speaker/emcee (see the DHAYA tab) and anyone else who is a pro, will not work for free. Performing is work and all workers deserve to be compensated.

But I do donate my talents pro-bono to serve the poorest of the poor.

With my comedy I have had the privilege of performing outdoors for San Francisco’s homeless, indoors at low-resourced schools where some kids were born to crack-addicted mothers, on the inside of a max-security prison. I perform for free about twice a year, and these slots are booked up quickly. Usually if your organization is throwing a fundraiser or corporate event, with a nice meal, you can definitely budget to pay for top notch entertainment or speaking. And I am very, very good, so you should pay me very, very well. $$Holla! Dollas!$$

Note: Performing for “exposure” seems like a good idea, but hey people die of exposure (corny joke waah waah). And any “free publicity” I receive is difficult to monetize.

Thus there is not enough of a value exchange to justify working pro bono for free PR.

Well, for starters…

Storytelling

AARP

AMW Group

Kearny Street Workshop

Mill Valley Public Library

New Leaders Council

New America Foundation

Occidental Arts and Ecology Center

San Jose Museum of Art

Scottsdale Museum of Modern Art

Non-profit Fundraisers

Agami

Alzheimer’s Services of the East Bay

Akshaya Patra

America India Foundation

Asian Law Caucus

Asian Art Museum

Asian Women’s Shelter

AXIS Dance Company

Breast Cancer Action

Centro Legal

India Community Center

India Literacy Project

Mountain View Whisman School District

Pratham

Planned Parenthood

Simply the Basics

Sonrisas

South Asian Heart Association

Game Show/Emcee

Callan and Associates

Cheetah Mobile

KQED

Lonely Planet

Dogfest

M.I.T. Alumni Association

National Women Political Caucus

Stand-up

Dataxu

Deerfield Winery

Jewish Contemporary Museum

Kappa Alpha Theta

InMobi

Intrigo

Nomis Solutions

Norwegian Cruise Line

San Jose State University

San Francisco Senior and Disability Action

San Francisco Women Against Rape

San Quentin State Prison

Stanford University

University of Michigan

Panel/Keynote

Chevron Corporation

Invent Your Future

Massachusetts Institute of Technology

Youth Speaks

• Stage with lighting (Well-lit stage and low lighting on audience)

• Professional mic & sound system (Hand-held or lavalier mics are great, but no lecterns/podiums)

• Seated audience (No standing and mingling. Comedians & speakers, unlike bands, are not background music.)

• Scheduled pre-dinner or post-dinner, (Not during. Audiences can’t laugh when they have their mouths full).

• A proper introduction. (BONUS for not reading a piece of paper. TRIPLE BONUS if s/he knows how to get the audience seated, quieted, and warmed up. Without this key person my work is harder and I am still happy to perform or speak at your event it, but now I have two $$jobs$$ not one.)

• No distracting devices: (This includes audio/video recording, cell phone use, laptop or other device use during performance or speaking. Texting while driving is dangerous. Texting at a comedy show will make you the butt of the entire act)

• Payment rendered prior to performing (Including deposit paid upon agreement of all terms of the contract)

• Laughter & Funnnnnnn (Yee!)

I have a basic rate and happily offer discounts to non-profits and small groups. Please ponder these questions so when you contact me I can give you a rate based on the answers:

• Do I want Dhaya to speak? Emcee/host? Perform comedy or storytelling?
• How long do I need Dhaya at my event? The whole event? Part of the time?
• How long would I like her to perform?
• Does Dhaya need to pay out of pocket for transportation? Air? Ground? Intergalactic?
• Does Dhaya need to create custom material for the event (this takes extra time and effort)?
• Am I asking at the last minute? (This adds to the cost).

Finally, as an exercise, think about…

• how many people will be at the event?
• how much is the average ticket price?
• how much did you spend on venue rental and food?

Think: “As I did with my other costs, I will invest in quality talent”

The guide above will help you answer the basic questions so that when we do connect we can quickly decide if we are the right fit. If we are not, I have a few other folks to whom I can refer you. I look forward to hearing from you!

bookings@dhayacomedy.com

OR my management/representative

GFI Entertainment (c/o Jimmy Goings)

jimmy@gfientertainment.com
510-400-9019